__DANNY__H__ Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Hi all, Some of you may have noticed that I've kinda disappeared over the last little while. While I hope to get back to growing as soon as possible, for now it's not really an option. I've recently had to learn a life lesson. I'm still young so there's no doubt a whole bunch more of these awaiting me, but this one cuts quite deep and I want to talk about it. Over the last little while, I've had a sequence of arguments with a housemate, mostly caused by (my perhaps overly-volatile reactions to what I would call his) repeated violations of my space and property. E.g. not knocking before entering my room (despite knowing my partner and I are in there.....!!!!!!), taking and using things I own without permission and then not returning/cleaning them, etc; the list really goes on but you don't wanna read it all. A little more than a week ago, I lost my shit properly at him after finding out he threw away a large collection of glass jars I had been keeping, planning to use for my mycology hobby when I had time over the end-of-year vacation. I had told him that I was going to use them but apparently they were 'taking up all the space' in the cupboard and this is justification enough to throw my things away and not just move them??? When I say I lost my shit properly, I really mean properly. Lots of verbal abuse both ways but I really laid it on thick and said a lot of things I regret. This went on until I let off my last "fuck you" and went and lay down in my room to try cool off. When I came out of my room, I found that all my seedlings and outdoor weed plants (as well as some of my random veggies) had been ripped up and utterly destroyed. He also destroyed the remaining Sannies' seeds I had in the fridge. Over R1000 in damages. I'm moving out when my lease expires at the end of this year and permanently ending this friendship. There's nothing I can do legally, even with the ConCourt ruling, because I have magic mushroom spores and cultures in my possession and my roommate could easily exploit this. I have learned that no matter how frustrated I get, I should try my best to keep a cool head. Rage only makes things worse. Attached, a picture of my "freedom babies" (germ'd on the day of the ConCourt ruling, 18 Sept) that I'll never see fully grown as well as the bong my partner and I made together, with a downstem from Little Amsterdam. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smeegol Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 Morning DannyH I actually chuckled when I read this now as I think by what I've read you remind me of my younger self....lol and I only turned 40 in May this year...haha. I'm honestly sorry to hear this " C..NT " has destroyed so much that has personal value to you.... Your meds you grow. Life is full of sentimental things that mean a lot to us personally but not to others. Your roomy is a " cause and reaction " type of guy, he's causes a situation to see the reaction he can get out it and learns from your reactions to find out what buttons he can push and what he can get away with.. call it subconsciously controlling you if you will, he's going to push your buttons till you go " fuck it " and let him get his way, so he's won a small victory cause he's broken you and knows next time he can start taking bigger chances cause the chances of him getting you to cave in to his wants... ( he only pinches a bud here and there and you let him get away with it cause it's easier than arguing so he's won, in 6 months time he starts helping himself to fresh product ) There is 3 bumps in the friendship cycle DannyH and if I'd known them when I was younger my life would of been easy sailing but maby not as much fun....haha 1st bump.... So you've been mates for however long and he fucks up to the point where this is the 1st bump but because you like to give the person the benefit of the doubt you proceed with the journey...... 2nd bump....So months or a cpl years have past and you both now approach the 2nd bump in your friendship/dealings in life and this is where that " niggly " I told you so moment passes through your mind as you recall the 1st bump, and now you start to wonder bout the effort you've put in and whether it's worth the time and effort in proceeding with the friendship or whatever the problem/situation is as the 3 bumps in life is applicable to almost any challenge you face... 3rd bump... Now sadly this is the bump because of my faith in human nature that I seem to find most often in my dealings with obstacles in my life because I let situations take advantage of me....So you have 2 choices now at this 3rd bump in the road that you are now approaching. You can either as you have done and that is turn around and go around the bump as its no longer going to be a bump in your future and carry on with a awsome life or if you decide going over the 3rd bump is worth it.......... Then as I have done with some of my 3rd bumps cause they are worth it I either get new shocks or let some air out the tires and proceed over the 3rd bump brother Danny... If you start learning to avoid/ go around bumps now it will serve you well in your later years..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
420SA Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 Its always tough distancing yourself from a friend. As Hochy says its always easier to keep the peace and avoid conflict but to me it sounds like this was a long time coming. It doesnt sound like this friend has much respect for you at all. It may not be a personal thing, perhaps he treats everyone this way but its best he learns the hard way. You're feeling guilty now which is probably what he takes advantage of, but dont feel too guilty as people need a wakeup sometimes. Im not sure what personal insults you threw at him obviously but hopefully it was somewhat constructive and will in some way help him to change his ways. He is totally in the wrong. Entering your private space without asking... throwing away your shit without asking. Zero respect. Good riddance in my view Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CG420za Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 Awe bru, you're better off man. That oke wasn't much of a friend to you anyways. If i look back over the years, i went from maybe 20 solid okes to about 5. Quality over quantity my man. Life lessons. You will always come out stronger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trailblazer420 Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 Awe bru, you're better off man. That oke wasn't much of a friend to you anyways. If i look back over the years, i went from maybe 20 solid okes to about 5. Quality over quantity my man. Life lessons. You will always come out stronger.Exactly quality over quantity... But you'll figure that out over time. When us current older folk become the previous okes and you become the older folk, you'll know... You'll know Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
__DANNY__H__ Posted October 27, 2018 Author Share Posted October 27, 2018 Thanks guys for the kind words of advice and sympathy. You're all top-notch okes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smeegol Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 Damn Danny, well judging by the response and advice from folk you've never met I reckon they might have more true honest friendship in common with you than your mate ( even though we never met him )...... I won't tell you about the " 3 hiccups " .......hahaha only kidding Everyone has their good traits and bad, some just prefer their bad traits above good and sometimes they aren't aware of it. But this ou is taking the piss and knows it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CreX Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 I'm a calm man... Most of the time... But disrespect my privacy and I will let you know how I feel about it.. But to go and touch my hobby stuff... My babies... I would have completely lost my shit... Probly a punch out will ensue... Iv had my share of roomies that just don't care... Also had a tiff with a roomie that ended in damages... He damaged lots of my stuff to the value of a few thousand... Even my light at the time... But I think he came to his senses and did his best to repair it... Anyways.. I was the one who ended my grow at that time... I was pissed and said "there's no way I can see these plants to the end" so I chopped them down and chucked them... Moved out few weeks later... Being young sucks... You generally never have bucks... And generally don't earn enough to live solo, but also don't want to live at home with the parental so you find a mate or mates and live together... Share costs and shit. But it doesnt always work out and friendships are lost or damaged... It took me way too long to bite the bullet and find a place of my own... Find a chick with a job... And figure out how to make living together work.. And throw growing in the mix haha Good luck bro, I hope you have since come right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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